Fine thanks and you?

'Hi, how are you?' is a phrase we hear on a daily basis and, being British, the response must ALWAYS be 'fine thanks, how are you'.

We could be terminally depressed, tragically ill, massively uncomfortable or in emotional turmoil. The answer however should and still will always be, 'fine thanks how are you?'.

This is a ritualistic verbal dance. it sits alongside discussing the weather as an ice breaker in awkward situations with new people. Nobody asking how we are expects e genuine response and to be honest would be terribly mortified to get one if we were to, perish the thought, 'open up to them'.

Why is this? Are we Brits still enamoured of the idea of the stiff upper lip so much that we mustn't ever complain. Well no. Actually we're just so socially inept that we need these language tools to open conversation.

So here's some open advice to visitors to our shores. If someone says 'How are you?', no matter how long you've known them, no matter how close you've become, the immediate response is always 'fine thanks, how are you?'

Glad we've cleared that up!